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ANOTHER ROLLERCOASTER

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Small roller coasters on the way

Love, live, and breathe

Live your life, they say.
Love your life, they say.
Learn your life, they say.
But I say, do nothing, just be.
An effort can create ripples when those are the last desired.

If you check on people,
Very few come alive.
Very few declare their lives,
Well, cover everything under the wraps.
Just leave a little outside for the world to see.
Or else, they would want to stripe all,
Open ajar and leave nothing.
Therefore, i say leave a little in the open.

One day, a man told to another,
“Do you know how to love?”
The other nodded,
“I do not, I learnt it when I shared it with another.”

What do you do in your free time?
“Yoga, madness, bungee jumping?”
“Nothing, eating brains?”

Social media, big deal, since no one pays attention.
Connection is just a word over exaggerated.
Love is not to be publicised.
It is to be lived every ounce.
Who knows whom I love by reading a mere poem.
It will always be between you & me
Till you decide.

Go through the corridors of hell.
Go through the gardens of heaven.
Only then you know truth,
Only then you know love.

Quiet as I stand.
Quiet as I scream,
Quiet in the shadows,
Quiet in the gleam.
I live quiet, only to talk little.
I close mostly, only to let other do the talking.

You are not knowing your worth.
You are not knowing yourself.
You are a girl and not a mere tree.
You are a swirl and not entirely free.

Boredom!!!

There are times when we literally get bored.
Now, does anybody know what is boredom?
Well, that would definitely seem like a lame question to be asked on this blog.
Why?
The answer is obviously a huge nodding “yes.”
I am sure as we all travel the paths of time, we get bored at one point or the other.
Well, I am sure that you guys know the science behind boredom and why it comes to us.
Most, often the usual expression is, “Ahh, I am bored.”
Now, bored of what and why?
Bored of what?
Scientifically we can never be bored by someone or something. It is usually a boredom which comes from our subconscious and touches the conscious mind.
So, next time you are saying this, you make sure, of this inner feeling which you would be experiencing while uttering the word- it simply means that the body and the mind are bored of each other, human mind is bored, which means you are rather bored of yourself and not anyone or anything else in the world.
Now, for geeks, if any are reading this post.

What happens?
What exactly happens to your brain and mind when you utter those three tiny little words, what is the impact, let’s see
There is in fact, a whole thesis paper available for this whole process. This is one of the detrimental factors which can be associated very closely with our working system, the ways we think, we act, we eat. In fact, a perennially bored person will have changes in body language which will communicate but one thing, boredom. The skin will scream and say that to everybody around.
So, as per Colleen Merrifield’s thesis paper, “Towards a model of boredom,” we learn the major neurological changes happening in the brain while we are undergoing the process of boredom.
Psychological stress is a major trigger to the activation of the HPA (hypothalamic pituitary adrenal) axis. So, this leads to increased secretion of cortisol hormone.

Psychological stress

σ

HPA trigger

θ

Cortisol release

What goes on?

Psychophysiological equipments used were saliva test for cortisol level, heart rate and skin conductance level in a group of subjects.

To start with


At first, there is blushing of cheeks, yes, absolutely there is a lot of blushing which occurs with the gain in momentum of boredom (well, then are we supposed to linger and wander on the question that in love does the mind of a person experiences boredom which leads to blushing- like ahh, the same universal process to witness, not again), causing an increase in heart rate and further lowering of SCL (skin conductance level).
Thus, cortisol increase seems to be directly linked to boredom.

So?
Now, so boredom can be causing an increased level of cortisol in the body.
Just take a deep breath, relax, let go and check if you are feeling to be in that state.
What is the cause then?
If the cause is known then rectify or at least begin the plan to rectify the same effect.

Next part

Since, high level of cortisol from the body for a prolonged period of time case cause the below mentioned harm to your body.

With high levels of cortisol, the kidneys, the bean shaped structures within our body releases higher level of prolactin which leads to depletion of the adrenal glands.
The following signs begin to show up in the body which is not limited only to this though, however to start with, this is what it begins doing.

Backaches and headaches
Not sleeping well.
Even after sleeping well, you are tired. So, now you know, you are not tired, you are actually bored.
Weight gain- weight gain is often not caused alone by obesity and depression. Check around you, are you under the monotonous feeling.
You catch cold and other infections easily.
You crave for unhealthy foods.
With increased cortisol levels, you might experience increased heartburn, reflexes and you gut might be throwing up the boredom. Since it has its own nervous system which is impacted by the superior nervous system, even then it might be showing up its own ways to express boredom. Definitely vomits don’t smell too good neither do they look, beautiful thus, stating or signalling exactly how it is feeling right then.
You begin to feel anxious for no reasons- You have done your homework but yet you are anxious.
You feel dull and depressed. I think we always talk about depression, it has become a disease. Millions of people are advertising it telling you to be aware of depression. But, just find out before jumping into this belief, if it is really depression or boredom behind the scene.
Hence, this could be your problem, main problem as to why you are so sick and dull. Your whole life is a flurry and zooms around you from morning to evening.

What can you do about it?

Well, vacations can help. Small or big, but eventually after returning you feel the same once, you have shared all the posts and pics that you collected, since here you are trying to heal your symptoms, not your core problem.

It has to be one of the below.

Either you are not satisfied with your job.
Or, not satisfied with your surroundings
Else, you live a very cocooned and closed life. It doesn’t mean if you have a lot of friends, you would begin feeling good. It means take out me time. Do what you like.
Though after forty, it is as much a myth as Santa Claus is at our twenties.

But, yet making an effort to live in a way you want is always worth the effort.

Many wise men comment that life begins at forty so if you are that age don’t look at it with hollow eyes.
Start preparing, it shows that once you begin imagining what all you want to do, it will conceivably make you feel happy.
This will help release boredom to a lot extent.
Keep planning until you have settled your finances, (children and wife) those who have!
Convince them or convince any family around which you stay. It could be your friends who are your family, your own parents and siblings, your life-in partners.
Just, convince and begin life in a direction you wish to se yourself at fifty.
Don’t plan beyond that, since you might want to do something else post fifty and if you don’t, you could be subject to the same process.

Life is to enjoy, live, spread happiness and peace,
Not to sit and count money, position and dissatisfaction.
Not to accumulate jealousy, anger, competition and howlers.”

Hence, brush your back and begin!

Need some help in planning or need some more inputs, can write to me in the email address provided in the blog.

Happy reading!
And
Happy changing!

Sagittarius women


sagittarius women
A Sagittarius woman can often not show her heart.
A Sagittarius woman prefers to tell the world a small story vaguely about her life.
She is never shallow.
She just pretends to be, when she is not with right people.
She lives with patience. Her patienc is only for people she deems her own.
She is lively only to hide a sorrow.
She laughs since she is deep, knows life is just a small quintessence of dust,
Fakeness dose not touch her, if she is not self imposing it,
They do not tell full story to the world, just outlines so as to keep people’s curiosity at bay.

She declares since the world would anyways know her deeds much before she actually wishes to make everything public.
So despite being intensely private, she is wise enough to remove the wraps for people to peep in slightly, but only a little.
She will never walk where she does not want to.
She will never lie to people who matter.
She would never play clever with people she knows matter,
She is straight and might tell a point as it is,
You should know, twisting is not required.
If she is wrapped with someone, she will stay forever, her love will never fade,
She is not at all a passionate creature, but she is wild and might have done few mad things.
She loves to paint a face she loves and would live with it days after days.
She says she is waiting, no matter what happens, she will wait,
She is honest to friends, to the point where often she will remain stuck.
For her time does not move in leaps and bounds,
For her time is like 56 hours in a day.
Life is always a slow motion picture for her, for she deems it can only be real when you are slow,
She might have not understood what she has to do, if she is not doing anything.
She can be dumb, but not proud.
Tell her and she will come to you,
She can live without anyone, though she is vulnerable when she finds someone who matches her soul.
She tells it right on the face, she does not practise deceit.

She can separate imagination from reality, truth from lie, even if it is like a needle in a haystack.

She knows it all, she sees it all, but she still is innocent, would like to preserve it, thus does not enter the world much.

She does not believe in fights, she believes in peace, she sees how far can one go with ones own imagination.

She will live and love.

She is often the subject of scrutiny since she thinks different.

She has no said definition for she knows all definitions are man made. Each has several contradictory definitions.

If you try to engage her in war or anything she has no time for, she would ignore it and you would be deeply disappointed for she does not live to make war, she knows that.

She can wait till you arrive truly.

She knows when you have truly arrived.

She is her own horse, she is good at sniffing.
How do I know all this, since I am a Sagi girl.

 

Love and kappa!



Love love and love!κappa

Well, I had realised long back, love was not for me, reason-
I was too busy climbing trees, mountains, scaring & chasing fishes & meows.
I had bruises and a bleeding heart for all whom I lost were dear to me, and even when I sit alone, a tear or two trickles down me. I was broken.
If love was actually there, why did it not be when I needed the most, why those hands left me which I treasured the most.
I decided love was not for me, so I grew up loving me, learning all skills to survive in the hard strong mountain breeze,
in the snow, in the dimness and splendid white lightness of the mountains I now called home, if I did not make it good in the world.
I then came to know about degrees, my zongpa told me, they could help me too, to fetch a few bucks.
I did that too.

“One day, you might be the ones taking care of some such kids like me, or return to the world, find your home, find your man, and never turn again to us,” he said.

” All I want is happiness for anyone who touches my small boat.”

He threw me out in the snow, “learn strength, learn all that it takes to survive here. Come back only if you end up a failure, alone or lonely, broken more, beyond repair.”

He closed the door, I was five, I waited until my mother took me in her arms again.

But, kept on being naughty, to an extent that I began being like a shadow.
Each hand which was once there, slowly withered or vanished as though they were sands on my fragile skin.
I lost hope, took a job, I knew since the first I could not do it all my life, I waited, because I was in a new big city and life was more chaotic.
I tried being a part of the chaos, tried learning it,
but a girl who usually went well with everyone, making others laugh,
seeing others happy as it seemed at one time to be her one of the many hobbies, seemed so lost.
I was more lost than ever, ended up not making a single friend, telling no, seemed hard in this world.
I realised here in the garbs of this city that I was a woman, had never felt it till.

But, when I met him, I thought maybe that is why I was made to realise my gender? may be!!!
False people, false emotions, I was tired, ready to quit.
It was so hard, even if I did not like a man, and I said no, yet I was not heard, yet, I had to feign and take a long route to a simple “no.”
I could never say that I was not interested in men here, I found no true eyes, no true souls.
Just, when I had made up my mind, I was about to quit to return to the wilderness,
I had to go out of the city for my mother to meet a doctor.
Just, when I had planned the mountains, I met this face, I felt I knew long just at the first meet.
It was a ridiculous idea for me, one who, was so well trained to move alone, could even think this? I thought to me.
I negated it, with a waver of my hand, and I met him again and again, and each time my heart grew fonder.
I began missing him, I was so shocked at this, I had stopped myself missing long.
My heart beat ran high, every symptom appeared like those I saw in friends long gone.
I am still thinking of moving to the mountains, but now I am like a pendulum, wavering back to that point where I yearn to see him once at least in the day.
Could it be true, could such a beautiful thing happen to me, or was it a dream, a conjuring or a yearning of a heart which has been damaged by the years of madness it survived.
Trying to live, trying to not let people go away, trying to fight every point, trying to hope,
False relations, false people, false destinations, mirages, what little faith remained was killed by the city, I came to find hope.
Should or rather, could I dare to dream again, or was it a mirage that would just prove to be so?
Was it the final stone to knock me rock bottom, was it the one with which I would know pain completely.
Because it has always been pain that completed me and not joy ever.
Saved by an old alchemist, another grand dad who could not see a child in pain, who taught my Heart to turn pain to joy, and sadness to happiness, the one I met in one of my vagabond trips.
Is he an answer, I still don’t know, I am waiting to know.
But with this little hope, I seemed to be alive again, now I did not know what to do with my little hope?
So, I though of focussing on what I could do to earn a living in a way I deemed fit.
I still think of the mountains and if we are ever together, I would ask him if I could ever visit lands, I long left, if he would let me climb again?
If he wants to join me, I would hold his hand and walk close.
Till then, I would try to earn to provide for people I consider my own,
I hope only, to make it happen. Because, after years of practicing self conversion of energies from one form to another, I finally met the one, I waited long for, I finally did not have to transmutate.
Joy arose on its own or came from him I did not know.
I wanted to stay close to him, work something that could give me the space to be with him, be with my loved ones.
Only to leave him and my loved ones, at times, only for the mountains, if he and my chosen few did not wish to run with me to them always.
I want to look and feel normal again, I want to stop, I want to stop romanticising pain, want to think it to be normal.
I want it all to last till the very end! But, got to wait to see if it is a joke or a brute effort of some brutal force to break me down further.
If so I need to still hold the post strong, ready to be bruised more till death finally sets me free rather.
I got to see, I wish all my sceptical thoughts melt to nothing one day if he chooses to walk in, will he? why would he?
If he doesn’t, I need to sigh, nod my head, transmutate the sorrow to joy again, and move on, to be the captain of my ship further in guffawing at the creator.
Hope…Love…hard to hope..easy to love…

WAKE UP CALL TO ALL GIRLS!!!


Next, to go in the list is never harm anyone if possible. The real wisdom lies in knowing and being able to find out another way. Use tact instead. Remember, fight is never the answer, flight may be. Even if you have to combat a while, keep your eyes open for another way and slip off.

Never be jealous or selfish. Remember, always that you are the sole owner of your journey. Help, others in their journey if possible, but stick to your path solely and also make sur, you let them stick to theirs. If they trespass do not hesitate to show them the way, of course, keep in mind that since they tried trespassing, grabbing a few items from you, do not try to play any tricks since in the long run called life, this does not help at all. Trust, what you get is what you strive for, and only what is allocated.

Show your strengths, mitigate your weaknesses on your own, or take help of your own, if at all, required. Be cautious, that someone can try to become your master, someone you don’t want in that position. Since fight would be inevitable at this point, hence forego the previous process itself.

Never listen to any whispers, remember your brain is made up of millions of neurones and the Cyton seems to be the Hubble and the dendrites and axons seem to be part of the antennae system, each is wired to the other, just like they can hear your head you can hear theirs too along with your own. So keep whispers aside, since not every human has been trained on authenticity on this Earth.

If you are filterless, again you are in danger. Filter is meditation where you can tune your mind to be chaotic when you want to, and still single pointedly focussed when you want to, hence just stop listening to those whispers and let them rattle your brain, ignore. By ignoring you set a brilliant process in action. You do not recognise them and that hurts all, except a few.

If the whole world dances around you to lure you, dance for some time, to check if you can be still lured, once that self imposed test is done, ignore and snooze off. If they continue, do not stop them, just do not look or look but know it’s a dance. They will get the message one fine day.

Everyone tries to advise every other single person, since it is a way to establish your worth in the society, however, what matters it, is who you take it from.

Above all, be strong, learn to have compassion even with those, who try to harm you, forgive and forget, be in your journey and complete your journey. After forty years even they would forget you in that way, since they would be crippled or dead or vice versa. It would not matter, after a hundred years at all. So chill and never hurry.

So, points to remember-

1) Know yourself well.

2) Chalk out clearly who all you love, what you love, what you want and how would you love to see your life and why and stick to it as though you are a mountain. Ignore all sideway advertisements and well tuned hawker voices who try to lure confused people into their traps. You can pretend to be confused since not all deserve your confessions and clarity. Proclaim your clarity to those who matter and know they would see it eventually based on how high they are in their I.Q, E.Q and C.Q (complication quotient, I call it. If they know the complexicities and traps well, know how to read between the lines, and if they have true intentions, they will see it faster and if they are very innocent, it might take them some time, have patience.)

3) Know, if two people exist together, needs can be different. Note, how much you can give your all to people who matter  to you and you consider them as your own.

4) Never compromise and confuse on who you love, know for sure, and never let the world tell you whom you should love. Know how much your loved ones are capable off, since the world might try to be an imposter trying to manipulate what, who is doing and causing confusion and strain in relationships.

5) Spot those faces, those souls, with whom you presume your life and cleanly stack them in your mind. For, you cannot keep count on the faces of imposters always, for they are many. Remove from your mind all those imposters.

4) They who begin a game, pull many in the game. Some are honest faces. If you find such a face, stick to it alone, if possible.

5) Deny any madness the world tries to put you in, do not be convinced by what the steelers tell you in the market.

6) Then, slowly retreat from the crowd which tries to put conditions, said and unsaid- if they seem something you do not believe in, try to change it to something you can believe or something midway but never play their game, in their way. What you can do and what you want to do and how much should be clearly set on the table so that tomorrow, they are not able to turn you into something you are not, in front of the foolish, maddening crowd.

7) Once you are out of that crowd, that zone of riches and advantages, 90% of the crowd will vanish with their trumpets and trampolines.

8) The ones who remain would be two types-

a) The ones who are truly yours.

b) Those gritty people who have seen your worth in the society and who wish to benefit more and can convince you in shadows also.

9) But, right here, you have to use your soul, brave girl, since the ones who are your own would always give you a choice to do what you wish to do, would always help you in doing that in any which ways possible as they will feel your pain, anguish and worries, would know that living that way would have killed you long before you at actually dead.

The real ones as per you have already been spotted by you, hence all you have to do is give them the chance and take the chance when they give to you to merge.

Rest, you can crush their confidence by coolly walking past them. Remember they do not even deserve a fight. Close the doors, find new destinations with people you can trust by your side- real relations, real love and real family or else prefer to walk alone and be peaceful and happy. Never settle for anything else.

 

All the best!

 

 

 

WAKE UP CALL TO ALL GIRLS!!!


I am sure in this age of hypocritical imposter plantations, all across the globe, many wome, almost 55% of them, as per raw data, are suffering from some fundamental dilemmas.

First question, important for almost these 55% women are- RELATIONSHIPS.

1) Are they in a right relation?

You can know it, by measuring how much each of both is striving to be in the relationship. If they are not at all striving, it could be they are a Spock of that very society to which you benefit day in and day out in numerous ways, that society which is further trying to make you something whereby they would benefit further. So, often you would notice that there will be a lack of flexibility towards the choices you make as to how you want to live and contribute to the society, with whom you want to live and what kind of life you want to lead. They could then be serving as those cocka which are out on top of the cages packed with hens, the ones who would be killed. Seeing the cock, they consider themselves safe not worrying about their impending doom. So, instead of vehemently opposing the process of caging, they rather sit quietly wishing to mate. Society also might try to gift you the right cock, beware!!

Always remember, that people who really love you might also want to change you, but it will always be towards your healthier beliefs making you stronger, giving you the right options, and letting you be flexible in your choice of vocation mostly in today’s world.

2) Are they in the right job?

Well, you are not once you know you are not. It might have served you well and to which you were a true servant, but now, you have grown away from it and both parties should respect that. If it tries to manipulate you, know it’s time to ring the bell and walk out.

Manipulation can come in few ways, based on what in your life is getting manipulated

i)  Through us of people to manipulate your needs.

ii)  Through manipulation of your desires.

iii)  Through manipulation of your basic requirements.

What is getting manipulated depends in the standard of the people involved in the game and as to how low they can fall, creates the basis of the challenges which roll around you when the dice is rolled in their courts.

3) Are you doing right?

Never do anything you perceive as wrong. If you think anything is right to be done with one person, ensure that you apply enough frictional force for the world to know that what you do with one person, (in terms of your gestures and behavioural pattern) is not to be perceived as the standard. Keep things flexible and weigh the person right in front of you in all parameters before declaring anything concrete about the person. Once you do declare, let it be the Gold Standard. Do not change your opinion about the person after that, but yes you can continue to judge the surrounding and the people who form the surroundings since they might be as much an impact as the person himself is.

Similarly, go back to your roots and beliefs. If you think you do not want to be a part of those you don’t understand or, above all, do not choose to understand, stick to your decision of not being a part like a mountain and no manipulation can affect you.

Keep your inner thinking straight but if confusing others can solve your problem, since they consider you a week ling, and do not wish to respect or put weight to your judgements and do not understand your “NO”, considers it as yes, then you are balanced if you confuse them since it is far better a choice made to combating them.

Do not let every other person change you, confuse them if required, but remain true to those faces who seem to have an individuality and those who are really pure in the core.

Do not let every other person guide you.

Do not be a part of any imaginary tiffs, no matter what they or you imagine. If they can imagine, you can too, but what sets you apart from the crowd, is what or how you choose to act every time. Certainly the depths of your understanding will differ widely from theirs, and hence what they do to you and what you do to them will also differ.

There was once a race, which was surrounded by enemies on both sides- on one side was a group which termed themselves as friends and on the other side was a group which openly declared themselves as enemies. However, the friends seemed to act a little precociously. Unable to decide, he chided of the tribe called the whole tribe under the hill, full of snow and cold.

Addressing the crowd, “looking at each curious, innocent face in the dim light of the Aurora borealis which was lighting up the sky from time to time, deep in the night, the leader of the tribe announced,

“My friends! It is a moment of great confusion, we are unable o decide, if the group which declares itself as friends is genuine. Some actions are very good and some are shady, so, unable to judge and keeping in mind the values and beliefs of this tribe, that none should be harmed, at least, not the ones who even remotely term themselves as friends, we have come to conclude that we follow the 90 degree path.”

Now, the whole tribe knew what it meant and thus the tribe left the are in the dead of the night, never to be seen again. In that friends group, some turned out to be real friends who mourned the loss and much later were allowed into the realm of the tribe alone. However, mostly the group as a whole did seem to be comprised of some genuine and some not so genuine people.

It is also not entirely wrong to detract people who try to detract you, keeping in mind they are not harmed since that is of course, and should of course, not be the purpose.

It is alright if you hide your innocence, your feelings, your relations & your story from those whom you do not even consider distantly, since you alone know the truth of the situation you are dealing with.

Distance yourself.

Post distancing, also you could be in a bad situation due to your enemies being stronger than you, because they might want to bring you to a position wherein they can disguise as your friends attempting to winning your trust. Never take help in those situations, live or die should not be their concern who intend to harm you- remember always.

Stay in your sufferings and search for a way.

Only stay with faces you trust, the ones you know and the ones who turned out to be your friends in the crowd.

If those faces do not arrive after you leave the crowd and do not help you to do what you want to do or at least do not stand by you, leave them in the crowd, do not go after them back, since they might be the ones who do not have the courage to stand out despite being honest and true, they might have their needs and worries. Respect that, but if they do come, open your arms and merge with them.

No one should be able to tell you what you need, with whom and when. If they try to poke in their head, ignoring is the best way.

Ask the right questions to yourself and all would settle. Remember questions are good, the ones who tell you the opposite are those, who do not want some shade of theirs, from being discovered.

No matter, who tells you what, learn to say “NO,” when you know it. and never quit, even if the whole world tries to fight you.

Death is imminent, comes to all, so it doesn’t matter. What matters is did you put a good and strong action against their fight.

 

to be countdd…

 

Silver linings- in fond memory of Suraksha whom I don’t meet and Pawan, my brother who left me alone here to be at peace with himself


I wish I met Suraksha earlier to save Pawan from leaving us to look for him in the strong winds. Life would have been different had you been there. And, Suraksha a hope she lit in my heart till date it burns bright and strong.

Kasto Mazda hai pyaar maa…kasto Mazda hair pyaar maa…

Hope